The past is just a shell of the life I used to live and nothing more. What I am now has nothing to do with the me of the past. While I may still be Jeff, I may not hold the same values and beliefs as I did before. I always think about the past -- what I did, and who I was; then i transition to the present where, in a sense, i'm content with my life in terms of friends, but i'm completely unfulfilled because i want something more. I want to just tell someone all the problems I have or just what I want. I want to have more knowledge; i want to know more; i want to be a better person, not only to certain people, but to others -- but as the ones close to me know, I have trust issues and I tend to push people away and I tend to only accept those that are willing to stick with me and invest their time into developing something real. I hope you can all agree with me that you haven't been disappointed in me as a friend.
With that said, I always think about the future and how my life will end up. Undoubtedly I know I'm going to ultimately be successful in life, but I 'm not sure where I'll end up with friends, girlfriends, wife, settling down, and my mid-life crisis.